Resolution: Get a Goal.

Mom's view:

I love New Year’s goals. I know many people hate them, for various reasons, but I think they are wonderful. Then again, I’m a list maker by nature. I like the neatness of condensing life’s ambitions onto the pre-lined paper I got for free in a charity run swag bag. Groceries needed: 20 lines. Home improvements needed: 10 lines (Yeah, right! More like 50 lines. This is a list I haven’t made yet because it will invariably make me want to cry). Things I need to remember to do on Monday: 5 lines. Goals for improvement in the New Year: 3 lines. It’s nice having my imperfections whittled down to this concise rendering, rather than the usual cloud of words roaming through my head on a never-ending reel.

Also, you’ll note I use the word “goals”, rather than resolutions. A resolution sounds more amorphous to me, and I like having something concrete to try to attain. For instance, if you say something like “I’m going to eat healthier,” it’s definitely a resolution, but it’s way too open to various interpretations. What does that even mean? If you say, however, “I’m going to become a vegan,” it’s a clear goal, despite being wholly unappealing to most.

So here they are, my three goals for 2010:

1) Run less than an 8 minute mile in a 5 k by spring.
2) Quit playing ostrich when it comes to home improvements and just do them already. (Interesting fact: I couldn’t remember which bird buried their head in the sand so I had to Google it. It’s the ostrich, except that’s a myth. They just lay flat when they sense danger and because their head is light colored, it blends with the sand and just looks like they’ve buried it. Nonetheless, laying down flat on the ground (or in my case, the sofa) is close enough for purposes of this analogy.)
3) Finally quit the sugar. Maybe.

Actually, all of these are a maybe, truth be told. I just don’t get all that hung up on instant success. I’m one of those people who tries to live well in general – It’s not like I’m spending 364 days out of the year in a Bacchanalian orgy and then on day 365 all of a sudden trying to change my diet and cut down on the rampant drinking (and fyi, less drinking is never on my list of resolutions). Also, I think most worthwhile goals aren’t something you can realistically achieve in the course of a year. Nonetheless, I see the end of the year as the perfect time to take stock and measure progress. The date has its own significance, so it’s not hard to remember (like a self-imposed anniversary or something) and there is enough time between each mile marker to really make a change, if one is to be made.

For instance, in 2008, my New Year’s goal was to eat better and work out every day up until I went to Florida at the end of February, at which point I would be incredibly svelte and awesome looking in a bathing suit. I defined the goal poorly (if only I’d left out the last part!), and consequently failed miserably. I looked white and doughy in my bathing suit, much like I would have looked on January 1st had I just gone to Florida then.

But here’s the thing. Up until January, 2008, I barely worked out at all. Since January, 2008, I not only have continued working out, but I keep getting better at it. I kept a journal during the course of that resolution, in which I documented the exercise I was doing each day, the number of calories I was eating, and how I felt about all of it. I found it recently, and I couldn’t believe how pathetic it was.

Sample entry:

Instead of salad, had 2 bowls Honey Nut Cheerios for dinner last night. Walked 2 miles on incline. Ate 2 Portugese rolls with butter and jelly, tea with milk, chicken Caesar wrap, 5 fun packs of m&m’s. Should only eat banana and piece of cheese for dinner. I’m really tired today. This exercising is wearing me out and I’m not losing any weight.

Yes, I’m serious. It may look stupid all spelled out that way, since I was clearly never going to lose weight on this regimen, but sometimes it takes a journal to make us confront the obvious.

Anyway, the point isn’t the initial failure. It’s that this goal started me on something that I haven’t yet quit. After several months of lolling around pathetically on a treadmill, I started trying different things, including running. One day, I crashed an interval training class and I was hooked. I started doing interval training, weight training, running and yoga, and my best time last year was a 5k in 26:43. That’s an average time of 8:36 minutes per mile, which is how I got to my goal for this year. I still don’t weigh any less, since I love to eat, but I look better since the weight training cuts down on the whole doughy thing.

My predictions for this year? Because I’m well on my way to goal number 1 and I’ve defined it so narrowly, I may actually achieve this one. Goal number 2? There’s no chance. Even if I had the money to make all needed home improvements in 2010, I wouldn’t have the time given the vagaries of the weather where I live. I just want to keep myself thinking about that one, and budgeting accordingly. As for the last one? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll start a journal.

Son's view:

New Year’s resolutions. Definition: something people don’t stick to. Let’s take the Y for example; people’s resolutions are to get in shape. They go to the Y for a couple months, and then they just don’t come back. This is not because they are in shape but because they were dreaming about chocolate ice cream while they ran. My resolution this year was to be cooler. Now I am already so cool that I don’t need to do anything. Simple.

P.S. another definition for you: ___________ = coolest man ever (young man)